The Hard

By, Brianna Barnes, Volunteer

What I am about to say will not come as a surprise to anyone who has ever been involved in horse rescue.

It is hard.

Physically, the work is hard. Picking paddocks, throwing hay, handling horses – it all takes strength. Mentally, it is hard. Having to make quick decisions that impact another living being, is difficult. Emotionally, it is hard. These animals climb into your heart and make a space for themselves, and no matter how hard you might try, you cannot help but let them in. 

There are days that are easier. Sometimes the weather is perfect – the sky is sunny and clear, it’s not too hot, it’s not too cold, it’s not raining or snowing, and there is a breeze that keeps the bugs at bay. The paddocks aren’t muddy or icy. All the horses are happy and healthy, no one is lame, there aren’t any cuts or bite marks, and everyone is eating like they should. The physical work is still taxing, but the day, overall, is about as easy as it could be.  

We’d like to say those days are common, but unfortunately, the “perfect” day at a horse rescue rarely exists. It seems as though there is always SOMETHING. Most times, thankfully, those “somethings” are minor – a small cut, an easily diagnosed reason for lameness or lack of appetite, or a quick fix of equipment. Those are the days that the “hard” is okay. It might take a little more effort, physically and mentally, but it’s a “hard” that we can deal with. 

Then there are days that get a little tougher. A horse is sick, the weather is bad, something crucial is broken. Sometimes our shifts are shorthanded, and it takes an hour or two longer to finish chores than it would under normal circumstances. It pushes you, and you want to complain, but instead, you put your head down and do what it takes to get everything done. You make the call to the vet for advice, you treat the injury, you adjust the food, you fix the broken thing. Those are the days we can also deal with, but it’s a relief when it’s over.

Then there are days that are just HARD. A new rescue comes from auction, skin and bones, with no will left after working every day of his life. You see a mule in a kill pen with no identifying markers, waiting to go to the zoo for predator food, and you do everything you can to get him safe. A gorgeous, rare Shire mare walks off the trailer with maggots in her overgrown hooves. A stunning Belgian gelding needs an eye removed because of cancer, and you do it. These days test you, they push you to the limit, but then you see the rewards of rehabilitation, and you know that all of that “hard” was worth it.  

And then there are the days that break you. You arrive at the farm to find a horse down, and you fight for HOURS to get him up, and he just can’t. The oldest horse on the farm decides that she doesn’t want to eat anymore, and you make the decision that it’s time to let her go with dignity. The sad, sick, hurt horse that just came from auction a week ago has fought her last fight, and you know it’s time to end her suffering. The biggest horse in the barn can’t hold up his own weight on his sore hooves anymore, and you know the pain is too much for him to bear anymore.

The sentinel of the farm, the one who outlived his expiration date by years, suddenly takes a turn for the worse, and the quick decision needs to be made to help him, even though you know what that means.  

Days like that change you, fundamentally, as a person. You think you know pain, and then you hold a horse’s head in your arms as he lays on the ground shivering. You think you know what it feels like to have a broken heart, and then you physically lay across a horse as he takes his last breath.  

But here’s the thing – the hard doesn’t make you stop. It hurts, physically, mentally, emotionally. It pains you to the deepest core of yourself. It changes you, and molds you, and makes you a different person in ways you didn’t know were possible.

The hard shatters you and rebuilds you, every single time. It makes you stronger. It never, ever gets easier, but it reinforces exactly why you made the choice to rescue in the first place. The hardest days, the ones that break you, make the “tougher” days a little easier to take. They make the “easy” days enviable. And they make those “easier” days ones for the ages.

We never said it would be easy, but we promise, it is always – ALWAYS – worth it.